Crazy Questions & Answers

Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday? 
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Think Think.... 
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Its because.... 
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Monday is a Weak Day.... 
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Q: Which is the safest way to see a shark? 
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Ans: On Television.... 
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A FANTASTIC PJ: 
Q: What would Baby Corn say To Mom Corn? 
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Guess plz.... 
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He'll ask: 
"Where is Pop Corn?" 
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Q: What is the full form of CNBC ??? 
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It means.... 
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Cartoon Network for Business Community !! 
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Q: Do u know what is the meaning of PYAR? 
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Some friends sitting on the table in a BAR..... 
& saying..... 
"P - YAAR" 
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Q1) What is it that RAM can do but RAVAN cant? 
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A: Wear a T-SHIRT. 
Q2) What is it that RAVAN can do but RAM cant? 
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A: Group discussion when he is alone. 
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Q: Why did Ram Gopal Varma made 'Phoonk'? 
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ANS: 
Uski Picchli 'AAG' ko bujhaane ke liye.... 
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Q: What do u call a 800 year old Hanuman Temple??? 
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Guess??? 
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Give it a shot.... 
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MARUTI 800!!! 
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Dharam Paaji subscribed to Hutch. But the hutch network did not follow him. 
Why? 
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Bcoz the Dog was afraid, 
'Kutte! Main tera khoon pee jaunga.' 
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Q: Agar Bengali ka phone kat jaaye, to woh kya kahega? 
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Socho.... 
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Kol-Kata..... 
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Q: Dada Kondake opened a Bank in the memory of his Mother's Grandmother i.e. Great Grandmother. 
What did he name the bank? 
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Think! 
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"I CHI I CHI I" Bank. 
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Q: Ek Kaana Ladka kisi ladki ko propose kare to kaunsa song gaayega? 
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Ek NAZAR se bhi pyar hota hai, Maine suna hai.... 
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Bear this PJ !! 
Q: What is the difference between Paneer Masala and Paneer 'Tikka' Masala?? 
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Think! 
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Think! 
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Simple! 
The Latter is Vaccinated...!! 
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Q: Why does the BAA of "Kyunki Saas bhi Kabhi Bahu thi" never die? 
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Coz God Never Dies.... 
Confused? 
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BAA 'KHUDA' TUMHI HO! 
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Q: If Bill Gate's mother gets bored, What will u call her? 
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Take a Guess.... 
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MOTHER-BOARD! 
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Q: Why did the Tightrope Walker visit the ATM? 
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Think.... 
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Ans: To check his balance.... 
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UNBEATABLE PJ: 
Q: According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai?? 
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ANS: 
HOLI. 
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How? 
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Coz.... 
He Keeps Saying... 
"Holi CUB hai, 
CUB hai Holi...."

Long Live Bachelors

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!

--Anonymous

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should

be happier than others.

Oscar Wilde

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

Scottish Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Sam Kinison

Men have a better time than women; for one thing,

they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

H. L. Mencken

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.

When a tenyear married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

Love is blind but marriage is an eyeopener.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

you can be sure of one thing:

either the car is new or the wife.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding

her way back to home always.

Anonymous

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our

anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,

"How about the kitchen?"

Anonymous

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.

That was only for the estimate.

Anonymous

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then

the mud fell off.

Anonymous

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too

late for the garbage?"

Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

Anonymous

Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses

to get to married.

He says "the wedding rings look like minature

handcuffs....."

Anonymous

If your dog is barking at the back door and your

wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u

let him in!

Anonymous

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly

parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was

diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be

praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to

die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,

I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this

demonstration of pain in is

more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A

child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then

replied "My wife's first husband."

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband

leaned over, made a wish

and threw in a coin .

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned

over too much, fell

into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned

for a while but then

smiled "It really works ! "

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ..........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.. 

Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins

Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

I like this one!!!

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Some Honest Answers In An Interview

1. Why did you apply for this job?

I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you called me first.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?

I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?

You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if this happened?

Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?

I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the fate of company.

6. What is your biggest weakness?

Girls

7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?

Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to get more money, so I am here today.

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?

Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?

Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?

For the same reason why you left your previous job.

11. What do you want from this job?

No work and good hikes.

12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.

13. What do you know about our company?

I knew you will ask me this question. So, I've gone through your website.

14. What salary are you expecting?

Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on whatever I ask. So I have already hiked my current salary by 30%