funfeeds

Crazy Questions & Answers

2010-04-26T05:35:00.001+05:30

Q: Why is Sunday stronger than Monday? . . . . . Think Think.... . . . . . Its because.... . . . . . Monday is a Weak Day.... _____________________________________ Q: Which is the safest way to see a shark? . . . . . . . . . . Ans: On Television.... _____________________________________ A FANTASTIC PJ: Q: What would Baby Corn say To Mom Corn? . . . . . . . . Guess plz.... . . . . . He'll

Long Live Bachelors

2010-04-25T19:57:00.001+05:30

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. Oscar Wilde Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. Scottish Proverb I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. Sam Kinison Men have a better time than

Stupidity

2010-02-12T08:59:00.000+05:30

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.Only in America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America ......do we leave cars

Some Honest Answers In An Interview

2009-07-20T10:10:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } 1. Why did you apply for this job? I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you called me first. 2. Why do you want to work for this company? I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have any

What Goes Around Keeps Coming Back

2009-07-19T22:46:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } [1] Dirty old man businessman Boss winks at the flirt secretary and says, "For a week you and I will go abroad, so pretend making a business trip." [2] Secretary immediately makes a call to Husband, "For a week my boss and I will be going abroad for

Don't copy if you can't paste !

2009-07-13T19:05:00.001+05:30

A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?" The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey

Funny Equations

2009-05-23T08:05:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } SSC + HSC + BTech + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com. One Chinese gymnast = India's Gold Medal tally since 1896 Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada =

How Tihar Started

2009-05-22T08:59:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } A young second generation guy in the US was asked by his mother toexplain the significance of "Tihar" to his younger brother, this is howhe went about it..." So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him.But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she

Woman's Geography

2009-05-10T04:24:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa. She is half discovered, half wild. Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America. Fully discovered and scientifically perfect. Between the ages of 30 - 35,

BIMAN bangladesh Airlines !!!

2009-05-10T03:49:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain AKKAS(Boniface) welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of BANGLADESH BIMAN. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off...it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 717

Taken from official court records

2009-05-01T10:04:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"

Catch A Rabbit

2009-04-27T05:08:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They

Blonde Exam!!

2009-04-23T04:44:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } A blonde reports for her university final exam. The exam consists mainly of true or false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin. She

The Laws of Ultimate Reality

2009-04-20T08:23:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the

The guide to wife translations

2009-04-15T03:06:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } The wife says: You want The wife means: You want The wife says: We need The wife means: I want The wife says: It's your decision The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious The wife says: Do what you want The wife means: You'll pay for this later The wife says: We need to talk The

Divorce

2009-04-15T03:05:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce." The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't

Phone Bill

2009-04-15T03:02:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting. Dad: People, this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone Son

Ganesh Symbolism

2009-04-12T07:49:00.002+05:30

Gift

2009-04-07T04:20:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "

Can you read it?

2009-04-04T17:28:00.002+05:30

This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the

Girls

2009-04-04T02:10:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } When a GIRL is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.When a GIRL is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering howlong you will be around.When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds .... she is not at

12 Ways to Know That You Love Someone

2009-04-02T07:20:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } TWELVE: You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her. ELEVEN: You walk really slowly when you are with him/her. TEN: You don't feel Ok when he/she is far away. NINE: You smile when you hear his/her voice. EIGHT: When you look at him/her,you do not see

Where can you find Heaven?

2009-04-01T23:54:00.004+05:30

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China .On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when heNoticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read"$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked a

More Stills from Old Kathmandu

2009-04-01T21:52:00.003+05:30

Here are some more pictures of Old Kathmandu.Some are already posted in this site at this link.

Recession Updates

2009-03-29T00:26:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } 1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off 2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at the same rate 3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save

21st Century

2009-03-23T07:01:00.001+05:30

We are becoming lesser by the day!! Our Communication : Wireless Our Telephone : Cordless Our Cooking : Fireless Our Youth : Jobless Our Food : Fatless Our Labour : Effortless Our Conduct : Worthless Our Relation : Loveless Our Attitude : Careless Our Feelings : Heartless Our Politics : Shameless Our Education : Valueless Our Follies : Countless Our Arguments : Baseless Our Dress : Topless

Colours of Friends

2009-03-11T08:30:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } This Holi, Know what colour are your friends... :) :thumb:

Are you a member of the '99 club'?

2009-03-10T09:32:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Very Interesting.................... Hello, Read this interesting story and decide what you want to do Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content. One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while

Family Problems !!!!

2009-03-10T09:07:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining about family problems. Finally, the other man said "You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation." "A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and got myself a

10 Biggest Brain damaging habits!!

2009-03-09T05:14:00.001+05:30

10 Biggest Brain damaging habits!!1) No Breakfast2)Over Eating3)Smoking4)High Sugar consumption5)Air Pollution6)Sleep deprivation7)Head covered while sleeping 8)Working your brain during illness9)Lacking in stimulating thoughts 10)Talking rarely

Barack Obama's First Decision

2008-12-08T16:41:00.000+05:30

The Evolution of Programmer

2008-11-12T20:39:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } High School/Jr.High 10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD" 20 END First year in College program Hello(input, output) begin writeln('Hello World') end. Senior year in College (defun hello (print (cons 'Hello (list 'World)))) New professional #include void main(void) {

Little Nancy's Pet

2008-11-07T10:38:00.000+05:30

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Nancy patted down the

English Essay Writing by a candidate appearing in IAS Exam

2008-10-23T09:52:00.000+05:30

even god has sense of humour …………….!!!

2008-10-16T09:47:00.000+05:30

God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates "Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension.... And

SIXTH SENSE

2008-10-14T11:39:00.000+05:30

A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying 'God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.' The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?' The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.' The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange

A Mathematician's Love Letter

2008-10-02T10:21:00.000+05:30

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ De-Morgan's Law, Binomial Avenue, United States of Matrices. My Dear Love, Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw your cute circular face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta

10 ways to survive office politics

2008-09-29T14:15:00.000+05:30

Office politics will never go away. It's a fact of company life. However, destructive office politics can demoralize an organization, hamper productivity, and increase turnover. Here are some tips, applicable for both staff and management, on dealing with office politics. #1: Live at peace with others The easiest way to avoid problems with politics is to get along with people. I'm not

Funny examination papers!!!

2008-09-29T13:43:00.000+05:30

All these are from REAL answer papers from PGDCA (Post Graduate Diploma in Computers Applications) exam conducted by a reputed Govt institute (Please dont ask me which, since it may defame the reputation). Iam posting only parts of the answers that are funny. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Q) Write short notes on Assembly Language & High-Level

I Need You!

2008-09-29T13:41:00.000+05:30

I Need You! My need for you is strong. I think of you and my heart races, My body trembles, and my spirit soars. I try to fight the craving for you, But I know the cause is lost. I must have you again. I fear that the world will someday know About my weakness for you. I know that if I go to you For one more taste of you, My guilt will overcome me And a heavy penance will be paid.

Is The Computer a Man or a Woman ??

2008-09-07T12:58:00.000+05:30

Is The Computer a Man or a Woman ?? language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a

engineer,mathematician and lawyer

2008-09-02T13:57:00.000+05:30

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''''4.'''' Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ''''4.0'''' Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer

Linux vs Windows

2008-08-09T23:05:00.001+05:30

Sardar jokes

2008-08-07T10:24:00.000+05:30

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving.. A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the

Men are just happier people!

2008-08-05T18:08:00.001+05:30

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Obviously written by some male chauvinist - hope you can 'handle it'?NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only

Try to speak Nepali for whole day

2008-08-01T10:33:00.000+05:30

Just try to speak Nepali without using single word of English for whole day. Bring the revolution of nationalism………….. (hamro vasa hamro vesh…pran bhanda pyaro desh) Have a nice day! ----- Ramro din leu! What's up? ----- Mathi ke Cha? You're kidding! ----- Timi bachcha banai rah chau! Don't kid me! ----- Malai bachcha na banau! Yo, baby! What's up? ----- Chori haru,

Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage - a Programmers Perspective

2008-07-27T00:29:00.001+05:30

~~~~~~~~~~~~First Love Marriage : Resembles procedural programming language. Wehave some set functions like flirting, going to movies together,making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functionsto the candidate we like.It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises withtime thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.Family system hangs because

Female Software Programming ( Computer Humor )

2008-07-20T16:41:00.001+05:30

Struct female_professional s{double styles;Short skirts;Long time_to_understand_ problems;float mind;Void knowledge;Char non_co-operative;}Struct married_females{double weight;Short tempered;Long gossip;Float hopes;Void word;Char unstable;}Struct engaged_females{double time_on_phone;Short attention_on_ work;Long boast;Float on_cloud_nine;Void understanding;Char edgy;}Struct newly_married_ females

Best type of surgical patients

2008-07-18T23:23:00.001+05:30

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Five surgeons are discussing who are the best type of surgical patients.The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operatingtable, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians!Everything inside them is color coded."The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best,everything

HOW HAPPY IS LIFE WITHOUT A GIRLFRIEND ;-)

2008-07-16T21:19:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } 1. You can stare at any Girl....... ************ * 2. You don't have to spend money on her. ************ * 3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers. ************ * 4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing. ************ * 5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u. *******

A beautiful poem written by a Father to save his Daughter !!!

2008-07-16T17:41:00.000+05:30

Do read it once...........I am sure u also won't be left untouched by the words and the feelings that they depict. The last stanza, after reading from the beginning, suddenly slows down the heart-beats.. DAD - BABY RACHEL - MOM A sad Dad's poem... This is a beautiful poem. There is an appeal from a Zimbabwean couple at the bottom of message, not asking for anything more than

The Best Gym to Lose Weight - Satisfaction Gauranteed

2008-07-16T17:33:00.000+05:30

One fat guy - One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the

Side effects of alcohol & remedies!!!

2008-07-16T17:30:00.000+05:30

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet. Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet). Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward 2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights. Cause: You're lying on the floor. Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor. 3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry. Cause: You're looking through an

He vs. she

2008-07-14T10:10:00.000+05:30

How the company views its employees. (HE VS SHE) 1. The family picture is on HIS desk. Ah, a solid, responsible family man. The family picture is on HER desk. Umm, her family will come before her career. 2. HIS desk is cluttered. He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man. HER desk is cluttered. She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain 3. HE is talking with his co-workers.

Bollywood Classroom

2008-07-13T14:51:00.001+05:30

If you are aspiring to strike a career in the Bollywood, be it a director, script writer or even penning dialogues, this section will be very helpful to you for it contains the scenes and dialogues which every film has and you cannot afford to miss it !! Some of the here may be rather sexist, chauvinistic, supercilious, vapid, racist, tasteless, offensive and emotionally backward, but we have to

Newton Romance Laws

2008-07-13T14:46:00.001+05:30

Newton in romantic mood...... Universal law: "Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money " First law: "A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play

An Interesting CV

2008-07-11T21:51:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } Name: Pakya Bhai Supariwala Objective: To obtain a challenging position as a Crime Implementation Analyst (CIA) Education: - B.S. (Crime Technology) Tihar Jail, India, August 1994 - M.S. (Criminal Sciences) Virginia Prison for International Smugglers and the Unlawful Activists(

9 financial signs of a cheating spouse

2008-07-11T21:04:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } Credit card statements that reflect charges for flowers, jewelry or other gift items that the spouse did not receive. Unauthorized or surprise withdrawals from joint bank accounts. Deposit slips or bank statements that indicate the existence of a previously unknown checking or savings

Mother's Day

2008-07-10T23:07:00.001+05:30

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the motherwas unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong."Nothing," said the woman.Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?""Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked andcleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don'teven tell me so much as "Thank you.""Why should I

6 Qualities of a Good Domain Name

2008-07-10T22:22:00.000+05:30

Choosing a good domain name is crucial to the success or failure of your business. You may wonder how something so small and slight could have an impact on your business, but the best way to compare this is to think about how important location is to an offline business? If you do not have a good location, you are likely not going to get many visitors. The same holds true for a good domain name

Registering Your Domain Name

2008-07-10T22:05:00.001+05:30

Registering a domain name is a quick process that often seems complex. It is far easier than most general web surfers suspect. You can quickly learn how to register a domain name with a little forethought. You need little know-how to register a domain name. Your first task is to find a company that will let you perform a search in what is known as a "WHOIS" database. These databases contains all

Technical Alphabets

2008-07-09T13:15:00.001+05:30

Three Hearts

2008-07-08T16:41:00.000+05:30

A doctor tells a rich old man that he's going to die if he doesn't get a new heart soon. The old man tells the doctor to search the world for the best heart available, money is no object. A few days later the doctor calls the old man and says he has found three hearts but they are all expensive. The old man reminds the doctor that he is filthy rich and implores him to tell him about the donors

Life is fast lane

2008-07-08T14:04:00.000+05:30

At a doctors surgery one morning a patient arrives complaining of seriousbackache. The doctor examines him and asks him " What the hell did you do to yourback?" The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club? Today morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise . On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony

Wha a tragedy..

2008-07-06T14:10:00.000+05:30

One man got a child .... ... ... .... ... ... 1 year later - man asked the child-what to gift you? ... ... ... ... child said ping pong ball ... ... ... ... 2'nd b'day- Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball ... ... .... ... 3rd b'day Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball ... ... ... .... 4th bday Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong

What a tragedy.....

2008-07-06T14:01:00.000+05:30

Change your thinking

2008-07-06T10:27:00.000+05:30

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on hi s back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement

100 Best Companies to work for

2008-07-05T22:51:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } Rank Company Job growth U.S. employees 1 Google 60% 8,134 2 Quicken Loans 68% 4,920 3 Wegmans Food Markets 4% 35,302 4 Edward Jones 5% 31,451 5 Genentech 9% 10,842 6 Cisco Systems 17%

More English Confusion

2008-07-05T22:21:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } Better resume working on your resume if you want that job.Hand me those lead pencils so I can lead the class in writing withthem.I want a bedroom suite just like the one in that hotel suite.That insert was not the one that I was told to insert into thatenvelope.He's going out to the banks of the

World Gets Happier

2008-07-01T22:18:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } Despite the anxieties of these times, happiness has been on the rise around the world in recent years, a new survey finds. if(window.yzq_d==null)window.yzq_d=new Object(); window.yzq_d['8AvsB9GDJGA-']='&U=13fnfgod2%2fN%3d8AvsB9GDJGA-%2fC%3d674272.12804990.13083882.1442997%2fD%3dLREC%2fB%

Physics Exam

2008-07-01T08:36:00.000+05:30

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper using a barometer." One student replied: "You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will

Facts on Foods

2008-06-29T11:17:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. FACTS 1 Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Aussie's, British or Americans. 2 Mexicans eat a lot of

Japanese English

2008-06-20T16:11:00.000+05:30

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!! A few years ago, Japan's Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English Conversation training before he visited Washington and met president Bill Clinton. The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hands with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr. Clinton will say," I'm fine, and you?"

The Ten Commandments of Marriage

2008-06-20T09:31:00.000+05:30

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Commandment 1.Marriages are made in heaven. But, so again, are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3. Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman

Genealogy

2008-06-19T10:36:00.000+05:30

A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.' Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it

Very Important Tips

2008-06-19T10:25:00.000+05:30

If you are ever forced by a thief or someone to take money out of an ATM machine, ............................... ............................ ......................... .................. ........... ....... .... "Enter your pin number reversed." So if your number is 1254 mark 4521. The ATM machine will give you your money that time, but it will automatically immediately recognize this as a

Management Fundas

2008-06-17T09:39:00.000+05:30

Here are some small interesting stories to teach you Big management fundas from moral of the story: Lesson 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give

SALARY DAY

2008-06-13T23:48:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A GUY Heading First Week Second Week Third Week Fourth Week a) Bank Balance 20000 2000 200 20 b) Conveyance Auto ('I can afford it') Share Auto ('I would like to share. I am selfless!') Bus ('Public figures should travel by public

Some famous Quotes and Proverbs (part II)

2008-06-12T21:38:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } I believe that man will not merely endure; he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among the creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of kindness and compassion. William Falconer No man is a failure who is enjoying life. William Feather

Some famous Quotes and Proverbs

2008-06-12T21:35:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } Faith has to do with things that are not seen, and hope with things that are not in hand. Saint Thomas Acquinas What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. Joseph Addison People don't have fortunes left them in that style nowadays, men have to work and women to marry for money. It's a

Top 9 Funniest Newspaper Classifieds

2008-06-12T08:41:00.000+05:30

(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) 1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. (man....if only I knew A B C....) 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again. (sure...thanx for the warning!) 3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. (in months or years?) 4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere

Tongue Twisters

2008-06-12T08:34:00.000+05:30

1. If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand! 2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish. 3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds. 4. A

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

2008-06-11T18:39:00.000+05:30

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft? Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates Subject: Problems with my new computer Dear Mr. Bill Gates, We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this. 2. One doubt is

Bill Gates' 11 Rules of Life...

2008-06-11T18:34:00.001+05:30

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachingscreated a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how thisconcept set them up for failure in the real world. Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will

Brilliant Ads.... (part 3)

2008-06-10T13:07:00.001+05:30

Brilliant Ads.... (part 2)

2008-06-10T13:06:00.000+05:30

Brilliant Ads.... (new ones)

2008-06-10T13:05:00.000+05:30

DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

2008-06-09T18:53:00.000+05:30

NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen. If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost)applikason. For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason. 1. Last name: (_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no (Check karet box) 2. phust name: (_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_)

Underground Economy

2008-06-08T00:21:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } .ExternalClass .EC_hmmessage P {padding:0px;} .ExternalClass body.EC_hmmessage {font-size:10pt;font-family:Tahoma;} Cyber crime is big business. See charts displaying the current prices paid for stolen data or for infecting machines or for SPAM mails. Pay-out for each unique

How to survive a heart attack when alone?

2008-05-29T13:55:00.000+05:30

EVERYONE MUST KNOW THIS Let's say it's 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You're really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if

Wife's Name

2008-05-27T10:38:00.000+05:30

An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 50 years and clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his

How To Face The Problem

2008-05-27T09:34:00.000+05:30

It's 3:00 A.M. and Mona wakes up to see her husband pacing the floor. "Morris, why can't you sleep?" she asks him. "You know our next door neighbor, Patel. I borrowed $1000 from him, and it's due tomorrow morning and I don't have the money. I don't know what I'm going to do." Mohinder replies. Mona gets out of bed and opens the window. "Patel!" she shouts, and several times more, "Patel!

If you can't change your fate, change your attitude

2008-05-26T11:27:00.000+05:30

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girl friend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots

Male Vs Female At The Atm Machine

2008-05-25T16:15:00.001+05:30

.hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY:Tahoma } A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

Animal Body Paintings

2008-05-25T15:54:00.001+05:30

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Golden Words of Hitler

2008-05-25T14:49:00.000+05:30

When u r in light, everything will follow u. But when u enter dark, even your own shadow will not follow u that is life God made relatives. Thank God we can choose our friends Money glitters, beauty sparkles, and intelligence shines. Keep a very firm grasp on reality, so you can strangle it at any time. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're getting. People may not

Funny Defination

2008-05-25T11:15:00.003+05:30

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. Lecture: An

BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

2008-05-25T11:14:00.000+05:30

1. No Breakfast People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration. 2. Overeating It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power. 3. Smoking It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease. 4. High Sugar